The Warm And Fuzzies
by Voldemort Perfumes
Summary: Jacob ponders his relationship with Bella, and in the process, learns a tidbit about himself. Drabble, Bella/Jacob centric.


**Author's Note: This is the very first thing I've ever written concerning Bella/Jacob. I have never hated the pair, and quite honestly, it would've been fine with me if Bella had chosen him in the end, or Edward. I didn't really mind either way, I just think that it was pretty obvious that she was more emotionally/practically entwined with Edward and his family, and her being the martyr that she is, (she is, there's no question there), she knows Edward would be very upset if she left him. They've been through a lot together, even more than the time she and Jacob spent building up their relationship --- which contained eons less drama --- so I always knew that based on that, and Stephenie Meyer being her happy-end-or-bust self (I frankly don't approve of that) that Bella and Edward would end up together.**

**But as I said, I like Bella/Jacob, I really do. I do however think that the Jacob we knew pre-werewolf-shift and right after the shift was a lot shall we say nicer (because he wasn't arrogant and really having to compete with his mortal enemy for the girl he loved) at that point, and that after a while, Meyer disappointed me in twisting his character to the point where I wasn't so sure I completely liked him any more. So when I write Jacob, I think nice, earlier Jacob versus BD/End of Eclipse-era Jake. **

**Anyway, if you survived the long-A author's note, read on and review!**

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**~The Warm And Fuzzies~**

Just look at them now, flirting with disaster as they jump off that jagged cliff face. He never thought she would be interested in such things, but even mingled with his excitement at this prospect is a bit of wariness.

He knows that this isn't the girl he began a friendship with. He also knows that there's something distinctly more than friendship in the way he cares about her. In a sense, his feeling for this girl has helped him grow up, however infinitesimally. Her breakdown has only matured him.

Jacob knows that in most ways, he's like any other teenage boy.

But in a lot of ways, he's not.

Or rather, he isn't _now_, thanks to her.

Most adolescent males wouldn't ponder at her complete personality transplant, from introvert to extreme sports enthusiast. They wouldn't wonder what brought it on, or why her feelings have manifested in this particular way. They wouldn't want to change it.

They would embrace it.

Enjoy it while it lasted.

Because really, if she's having fun with you, why _should_ you wonder?

He does however, while he's paddling his way back to the shore. She asked him to take her cliff-diving, which he never expected. Knowing Bella before she was shattered by Cullen's abandonment of her, Jake wouldn't have pegged her as a girl for that sort of fun. So really, he could take her desire one of two ways:

1. She just wanted to try something new and exciting.

-or-

2. She was going through the motions of suicide but not really dying. Suicide with a safety net. And she was asking _him_ to jump with her.

Somehow Jacob wasn't as happy as he had been this morning. He felt old as opposed to slightly mature, as if he was already middle-aged or more with wrinkles marring his russet-coloured skin. He felt used, frankly. But the worst part was...

He knew he'd continue to let her use him in this way.

And it was all because of the damn warm and fuzzies he had for her.

The love.

It'd be a little bit bearable if she loved him back, but on that front, Jacob was unsure.

It seemed like she did, but maybe she was just using him for her private purposes. Maybe he was just there to be the constant friend, never lover. Maybe his affection wasn't fated to pan out. Oh how he wished he knew, because if she didn't, then he shouldn't, logically at least, waste his time. The rub?

Jacob knew that when it came to Bella, he would always waste his time.

~-~-~

**'Amantes sunt amentes'**

_'Lovers are lunatics'_

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**Additional Notes:** **So, as a first time Bella/Jake writer, how'd I do? Bad, horrible, good, really good? Let me know. Also, should I make this a series of drabbles, and if the answer to that is yes, which subjects would you like to see a drabble on?**

**All these answers can be said in a review. So please, indulge me.**


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